Parenting according to Genesis

Although I’m not a parent yet, I will be one day, this coupled with things I’ve seen and experienced, have sparked my intrigue in the ministry of parenthood. This year, my husband and I started ‘the bible in a year’ plan. Now, before I read the word, I like to make a habit of asking God to reveal Himself to me and open my eyes to the truth in His word. While reflecting on what I read in Genesis, it dawned on me how strongly the theme of parenting/parenthood runs through it. So let’s dive right in to the gems I’ve collected.

1. The environment your children grow up in is very important. Don’t take this for granted or choose where to live, their schools, church etc based solely on aesthetics or reputation.

First let’s meet Lot. Faithful nephew of Abraham. Both he and Abraham were so blessed materially, that their belongings could no longer inhabit the same space. So Abraham being Abraham allowed Lot to pick where he’d like to move his family and belongings to. Without prayerful consideration (at least it wasn’t mentioned) Lot picked the most appealing part of the land and probably thought to himself ‘yup this is going to be great.’ However, he didn’t know – or maybe underestimated- the influence that living in an environment (which was as beautiful as it was depraved) would have on his daughters. They later went on to intoxicate and sleep with their father for reasons that seemed noble to them. After living in Sodom for so long they must have seen and been exposed to unspeakable things which soon became normal to them.

2. Make sure your children do not become an idol to you because one day your allegiance will be tested.

Abraham and Isaac, a beautiful story of faith in God and His provision. However, this story could have easily been a story of idolatry and its consequences. Abraham recognised that God gave him this child, yes he waited a long time to have him, yes it seemed ludicrous, cruel and even unfair that God would demand for him back in this way but Isaac (and all our children) was God’s first. God had made a promise to Abraham and if Isaac was dead, how would that promise come about? But if Abraham had disobeyed, the question would have remained the same, what happens to the promise? Do we love our children enough to let God raise them? Do we trust God’s decisions? Or are we selfishly living in constant disobedience or even joyful ignorance and branding it as our warped understanding of love? We must get to a point where we can say, my child is not more important than God. Do we know the promises concerning our children? Or do we only care about those that will make us look good?

3. Every child is different (even twins!). Embrace it, celebrate it but do not show favouritism.

Jacob and Esau, their story will forever boggle my mind. They were twins and their parents made it clear who their favourites were; Isaac loved Esau because he was good at hunting and he probably lavished showing him off (and chopping bush meat) at every opportunity! Rebekah loved Jacob because he was more of a homebody, gentle and probably helpful around the house (tent). Surely this favouritism was a clear pathway for discord and hatred between the two brothers and even a possible peek into the dysfunction of their parents’ relationship?

Rebekah was left plotting against her own son and sowing seeds of unrighteousness into her favourite. She had forgotten that God had already said ‘the older (Esau) would serve the younger (Jacob)’ which is why she manipulatively tried to ‘help’ Jacob not miss out on the blessing of the firstborn. Once you’ve led your children down the path of unrighteousness in one way, don’t be surprised if its fruit manifests in another way.

Such issues among siblings may seem like they could never happen to us but without prayer and an intentional understanding and nurturing of our children’s temperaments, we could also build factions in our own home and create unhealthy competition and even hatred between our children.

Growing up in a nigerian household, phrases like “look at your sister Mary, does she have two heads?” may seem like they are building up but they are actually destructive. It can easily breed contempt and rivalry between siblings. Let’s do better for the sake of our families.

4. Our obedience opens doors for our children.

Genesis 26:24 – God tells Isaac categorically that he will bless him for his father’s sake (ESV). How amazing! What are we storing up for our children? How are we setting them up for an ‘easier’ life?

For parents and parents in waiting, let’s ask God for guidance over the children He has left in our care, He knows them better than we do. They may not be what we imagined or even more than we imagined but they were God’s idea first. It is important for us to not unfairly turn them into idols and set them and ourselves up for failure, we should also love and treat them with the kindness and grace shown to us by our Father. He gave up His only child for us, can we give ours back to Him?