Bridesmaids: Part 2

So in the first part you saw all the lessons I learned. Now in part 2 it’s time to hear from the amazing ladies themselves. This journey was filled with lessons for all. Hope you enjoy.

IBK:

1. It’s ALWAYS about the bride, never about you or what you want.

2. SERVE – whether that’s giving lifts home so the couple don’t have to, or shopping online, or driving around at 1am cause clothes don’t fit properly, do everything you can to lift the load.

3. Pray not only with the rest of the bridal squad and couple, but set time apart in your prayer schedule for the Wedding day, the couple and the marriage.

Dolly:

I’ve learnt that in the journey you need to stay grounded by reminding yourself you are on this bridal train to serve. This was the first time I had been a bridesmaid and it’s not just about holding a bouquet and looking nice. I learnt a different dimension of selflessness.

I also learnt that picking your bridesmaid should be taken more seriously than most do. These people are the support system in that season. Every person on the bridle train served their purpose and it proved to be a strong a support system. Don’t pick people just because they are pretty or you’re childhood friends. Pick people because they have something to contribute. It was such a rich experience.

Regina:

I learnt to be selfless and put my feelings to the side for the bride’s dream to come true. I learnt to take pride in doing tasks for the bride as it was an honour to be a bridesmaid. The bride is the queen of the day! Being a bridesmaid really brings you out of your comfort zone, if you’re shy you will put that on pause for the festivities as you’re meeting people with very different personalities and doing your best impression of Beyoncé (for the dances).

Deborah:

Lesson #1: Sometimes being a bridesmaid is not just helping out where your strengths lie, but also in your weakness. There will likely be atleast one task that completely takes you out of your comfort zone, there you will truly experience sacrifice. Mine was dancing, to music very dissimilar to my taste 😂.

Lesson #2: I knew being a bridesmaid could be pricey, I had learned that in job 1. However I didn’t know it was such a demand on your time. Being a bridesmaid for 2 brides at overlapping times, I got double the fun. Now I know until the bride says “I do”, the concept of free time is an absolute myth! 😂

Tessa:

The most beautiful thing I have learned being bridesmaid is that I will always be part of their lives, proposal and their wedding through pictures, videos and memories. I am honoured to know that when they share their wedding day with their children that they will know all the uncles and aunties that helped make that day happen!

Another thing that I have learned about being a bridesmaid is that it is more than just looking pretty on the day or having that status (I’m also important), it’s about experiencing a deeper level of relationship/friendship. I am not typically a girls girl, It is much more easier to click when I’m with a group of guys. However, to be part of 8 beautiful ladies, carefully picked by the bride herself, there had to be a special bond. I called this sisterhood. At the beginning it was odd to see different personalities coming together but as time progressed we understood each other, worked as a team and most importantly avoided anything that could stress out the bride. Even taking on her burdens.

Lastly, I have learned that you have a responsibility to keep the bride sane but most importantly to keep her and her husband in prayer for they are about to embark in a journey that the enemy is not happy about.

Eni:

It’s okay to be yourself, you can learn to get on with people even if personalities clash, to not be yourself is to deprive the world of the only you there

When people get married for superficial reasons they are settling. Everyone knows that my type is “handsome” but I need to let go of my type because if I keep looking for the superficial things, I’m going to miss out. I need the 5 to my 6. Even though you and Ladi are two of the most good looking people in the world, that’s not why you married each other. You didn’t just marry each other because there was a spark or because of love but because it was God’s purpose. So the person that marries just for surface reasons is settling.

Morelle:

What I learnt was about the power of faith. There were many times I thought I would hold the group back because of my financial situation but God always made a way and it’s because this marriage was ordained by God. When Jesus says yes nobody can say no! Everything that’s meant to happen will work accordingly so God is going to make it work and I’m a part of that plan.

If I’m to look back at the money I spent I won’t believe it because I don’t actually know where I got it from. That brings me to the second thing and that’s that it’s not about me it’s about the bride and groom. That was the constant lesson through all of it, that it’s not about me it’s about you (the bride).

I also learnt that it’s important to pick your bridesmaids wisely. It’s really important because if we can’t be pillars then you have nothing else to lean on. It’s not about the title because if someone asks you to be a bridesmaid you can decline. If you’re not going to be supportive and give your all there is no point. The way you feel and your insecurities are contagious and you don’t want that to affect the bride.

It’s beautiful how we all gelled together I believe that the people you picked to be your bridesmaids were definitely sent from heaven. Everyone just took to their role, to serve. Kept you sane, hydrated, made sure you were having fun.

Elle:

Being asked to be a bridesmaid was both exciting and an honour. I couldn’t wait to learn more about Nigerian culture and begin supporting Betty on her journey to her big day. To be totally honest, when I was asked, I had no idea how much it would mean in terms of stepping outside of what was comfortable for me! For me, this wasn’t just about putting my feelings aside when I felt uncomfortable, it meant having to embrace things that were totally new and unexpected.

To give some examples of things that were unexpected for me: visiting a difficult-to-get-hold-of tailor (I’ve never even had anything tailored before); the dance routines (which were actually terrifying however much I laughed after!); rehearsals and meet-ups (I genuinely had no idea how much time would be needed! I’m very glad for these now though, totally necessary!); the scale of the wedding (I would have considered a big wedding to be one with 100-200 guests… It’s no wonder this took so much organisation!); and some smaller things in brief that I had never experienced: MCs, MUAs, geles and gele ladies, having hair done, Afrobeats music, Giggs (which truly shocked me!!), jollof rice (I love it so much), late nights… I could go on! The loveliest thing though, was how friendly everyone was throughout this experience and I look back on it all with very fond memories.

I have learned that everyone is unique in their desires and motives. On their wedding day these things are very important to them and therefore need to be important to you as a bridesmaid too. As a bridesmaid, it is not for you to judge the importance or necessity of any elements of the wedding. When the bride chose you as a bridesmaid, she put great trust in you to support no matter what. At times, particularly when I was nervous or didn’t totally understand something, I began to find myself questioning why. Therefore my advice to any bridesmaid would be to put your faith in the bride, she deserves it because she put her faith in you. When you feel nervous or uncertain, look to God and he will guide you. Don’t look to the bride – she has enough to do!