Bridesmaids

Disclaimer: I am sharing based on my experience, please take it with some salt and wisdom 😊

For the longest time I thought choosing bridesmaids would be a doddle. Clearly it would be ladies I’ve known forever, right? Wrong. But we’ll get to that. The more I meditated and prayed upon what I thought was a no brainier, the more I realised that there was a greater plan at work.

Initially, being an excited bride, I made some mistakes and spoke too much too soon. Which brings me to lesson 1:

Until you are absolutely sure (you have confirmation after Prayer etc) say nothing to anybody about bridesmaids.

Unfortunately, relationships can be damaged or even broken depending on how you handle this process. So be wise. But why the Prayer, surely that’s over spiritual Elizabeth, calm down, is it only you that God speaks to?! Well thanks for asking! That brings me straight on to lesson 2:

Marriage is warfare and all warriors need strategic alliances right? You need soldiers on your team. Friends from the womb, family members and/or colleagues may be a fantastic squad but not the troops needed for this battle. Can they cover you in Prayer? Can they fast for/with you?

Bringing me to lesson 3:

Your bridesmaids may not start off as your closest friends and that is more than okay. Half of my troops were ladies I’d known about 2 years and was not particularly close to. The process brought us closer and revealed why it just had to be them. Now I can’t imagine life without them.

My bridesmaids are the universal standard for bridesmaids (it’s a fact, ask Siri). They prayed for and with us, ran errands and were debt collectors, I could honestly go on. So, lesson 4:

Bridesmaids are there to serve. Looking pretty is a bonus.

No your eyes do not deceive you, please read on. The bride should have the least amount of stress possible. Even if she is stressing out, the bridesmaids should be the solutions not the problems. I have seen horror films and heard horror stories about bridesmaids. I just thank God that He chose ladies with a difference. Imagine stressing that the caterer has flopped and your bridesmaids are beefing about what colour shoe they should wear.

Good bridesmaids will naturally or strategically fall into roles but don’t be afraid to delegate. I had an accounts manager, intercessors, personal shoppers, events planners/managers, hype men, a driver, wise women, cheerleaders, comedians, a calligrapher and so much more all on one team. The days and our marriage were and still are being built with love.

My husband and I benefitted greatly from having such a great army around us. So much so that they have formed their own friendships amongst themselves (groomsmen too) and we watch like proud parents. My ladies were all so similar (didn’t realise until I reflected) yet each brought something so unique to create memories for a life time.

So as with everything, when choosing bridesmaids, take it to God and we know how God delights in our honouring of Him.