Reflection is defined as serious thought or consideration and growth is the process of increasing.
So lately, to the glory of God I have become a lot more reflective. It wasn’t something I actively chased or even prayed for at any point (to my knowledge lol), but God blessed me with this wonderful gift. Reflection is an important part of spiritual growth, asking questions and purposely thinking things such as ‘how could I have handled that better’ ‘should I really have said that’ ‘maybe I shouldn’t be around those people because when I am xyz happens’ is very important. From my experience, reflection is very painful, I have discovered a lot about myself that I was blind to, some things I like and a lot I do not like. This is probably why a lot of us shield ourselves from deep consideration of who we really are. Reflection is also painful in another way, sometimes God opens our eyes to who those around us really are and sometimes even their mind towards us. However because we must love above all else, even though we know this person does not have our best interest at heart or even that they are no good for us, we must continue to love them with the love of God (which is sometimes hard) and trust that He will protect us and guide our path.
Another painful experience I’ve had with reflection is that I am more conscious of my thoughts. Why is this painful? Well…because I am conscious of my thoughts lol. I am aware of what I really wanted to say, what I really wanted to do and how I really feel about that person or situation. It’s strange how sometimes we don’t even know what goes on in our own minds untill God brings it to light. When I first started becoming aware of what was going on in my head I thought I was a terrible person and I felt guilty for thinking and feeling all these things. I do not belive that is God’s plan. I believe being aware of the bad things we think is a positive thing, it means we can change them by putting them at His feet and better still God can change them, our darkness needs to be brought into the light of God’s righteousness. Our prayers need to be specific and targeted, we can help ourselves by identifying what exactly is not quite right. The more we hide from ourselves, the worse off we’ll be. Being blind to your own true nature is a dangerous thing, you’ll either fall from pride or crumble under being too hard on yourself. It is important to reflect regularly so that a molehill does not become a mountain and what could have been handled quickly and easily becomes complicated.
Proverbs 5 vs 6 says ‘she gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked but she knows not’ when I read this I was stunned for a little bit. How true is it that we are living life so thoughtlessly that we can be going down the path of destruction and be blissfully unaware simply because we give no thought to our way of life. Ever since God graced me with the ability to reflect consciously and frequently, my mind is under a little bit more control. Repeating ‘…and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ’ (2 Corinthians 10:5) has been so helpful and actually praying about my emotions whether it be anger, sadness, etc as soon as the feelings come have lightened the load of these emotional burdens. Sometimes we are so unaware of how we feel that we come enslaved to it before (if ever) our eyes are opened to its hold on us. Make a decision to be more reflective, invite God into this decision and ask for the ability to reflect honestly, no matter how painful. Pray also that you are not filled with sorrow from what you discover but a joyful energy in knowing that you are being conformed into Christ’s likeness by being refined in thought and deed. There is nothing we can do effectively without His strength so put it all in His hands and watch yourself grow.
I’ve spoken a lot about the pain of reflection but it is also a beautiful thing, seeing how you’ve grown and how far you’ve come because of God’s help is amazing.