Ephesians 5:22 – wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord
Today we are going to delve into an age-old and often contentious topic – submission! The passage of scripture above (as with many others) has been misused and abused. Causing pain, conflict and a distortion of God’s design of men and women in relation to each other. Often this distortion is used as a reason to rebel against God and man. However, the abuse of something does not take away its intrinsic value. It also does not stop it from being what God asks of us. It is for us to seek out the actual truth and hold on to that.
These days submission is seen as being a door mat, something to be fought, something that makes you weak. No. It is a lack of understanding of God’s bigger picture for marriage that makes us a door mat, weak or needing to fight all the time. The bible tells us many things that if put into the correct perspective, would challenge and destroy these ideological strongholds. The God that told us He didn’t give us a spirit of fear but of power and love did not include an ‘except in marriage however, you can treat your wife like a doormat and she must accept it’ clause. Not my God, not my bible.
Let’s take it back quickly to the Garden of Eden.
Genesis 1:27 – so God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God He created THEM; male AND female, he created them (emphasis added)
This scripture highlights a couple of things.
Number 1: the value that men and women have in the sight of God. There is no sex which is better or more favoured (to God). I hope that has kung fu kicked someone’s religion.
Number 2: submission is not demeaning, it is the active choice of a powerful being to yield to another powerful being for the sake of a greater cause.
If we are all so “equal” why is it wives that are particularly targeted in Ephesians?
Well because God in his infinite wisdom created marriage to be a reflection of Christ and the church, as well as His relationship with us. Taking the Christ and the church angle, just as Christ is head (authority, protection, covering) there, husbands are the head of their wives but God is the ultimate head. The husband SHOULD get God’s vision for his home and instruction on how to bring that vision to fruition. It’s not about a wife surrendering her life to chase a fellow heir’s dreams. It’s about both parties surrendering to God’s vision and whilst pursuing what God wants, the individual God-given dreams and goals will also be fulfilled because they form part of the bigger picture. It’s a win win. But if both husband and wife are fighting for authority and see only their dream as the one to work towards, someone will still lose out or there will be stagnancy. Still with me?
I’m going to press pause here for now as I believe this topic is so broad and deep I won’t do it further justice to keep rambling on. What I will say is this, submission when both parties are submitted to Christ is beautiful. It’s not about being a “yes girl” as I once thought. It’s about knowing and appreciating your equality in the sight of God but respecting your husband’s authority under Christ.