The reflection

I love being married. Like, proper love it! It has taught me so many things and I love sharing those things. So see this post as one long lesson 😂.

Marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. I knew this but I don’t think I understood it very well. So if there is any Aunty or Uncle trying to rush you into marriage, say this to them with your chest “IN GOD’s GOOD TIME PLEASE!!”

Right, now that we’ve cleared that up. Marriage is a mirror (something which reflects a clear image). It’s a reflection of Christ and the church, our life experiences, family life and so much more.

The reflection that has me in awe every time is the one of God and our relationship with Him. Why? Because it would eradicate so many arguments and hurt. When we marry, (hopefully) we go into it with our eyes wide open, being aware that our partner is not perfect and there is work to be done (by the Holy Spirit) on us both. But then comes the point where our spouse tries to encourage us to be our best self and we may look a little bit like this:

And say things like “but this is how you met me.” Here’s the clincher (whatever that means, I’ve just always wanted to use that phrase), saying “but this is how you met me” to your spouse and refusing to change even though it could be detrimental to your relationship, is the mirror image of saying to God “but this is how you saved me.”

“No it’s not Elizabeth, that’s a stretch, stop reaching”

Let’s look at it this way, anybody that can’t tell you the truth in love either doesn’t love you enough to save you from yourself or prefers the peace of your self destruction (see the oxymoron?). God loves you enough to accept you just as you are, after all there is nothing that He doesn’t know, BUT He does not expect us to remain that way. He expects a process of maturing, a pruning and refinement. Just as we expect such of our spouse and they of us.

It is important though to remember that it’s a process. God knows this and hence His incredible, bewildering patience and grace towards us. This is what we should emulate. Don’t think because you’ve said it once, your spouse will magically do a 360 and be the person you know they can be. Not at all, there’s an unlearning and relearning that needs to happen. Some things may be quicker than others but we must be patient and we must extend grace, just as we have received it.

So, whether you are single, married or otherwise, digging your heels in, refusing to change detrimental behaviours, repent. I know it’s hard but if you want to be a light in this dark world and honour God…well, you know what you have to do. Also, how beautiful would it be if we all (with God’s help) worked on ourselves for the sake of the body of Christ?!