A complex is a pattern of emotion, memories, way of understand and wishes organized around a common theme. The common theme I am going to write about is the age old story of romance, being swept off your feet and marrying this perfect man. Many women robotically chant the mantra ‘I’m waiting for my Boaz’ without actually knowing who Boaz was. It’s just the Christianese thing to say.
Disclaimer: these are my own thoughts and observations, I am not stating them as fact, just sharing thoughts.
Who was Boaz?
He can be found in the book of Ruth and was a landowner and close relative of Naomi’s late husband. From what I have read and gathered about Boaz, he was a kind man, who was very principled and honourable. Boaz did his research on Ruth and knew that even though she had caught his eye, he had to respect the kinsman-redeemer that was closer to the family than he was, so he did nothing. That was, until under the instruction of Naomi, Ruth showed her interest and willingness to be redeemed by Boaz.
What is a kinsman-redeemer?
For the sake of clarity, in the simplest of terms, a kinsman-redeemer is a male relative who has the responsibility of helping a relative when they need it.
Now, I have titled this post ‘The Boaz Complex’ because I believe the story of Ruth and Boaz has (perhaps innocently) been turned into a fairy tale. Wait for your Boaz. Your Boaz will come, we are constantly being told, so much so that many women have set their hearts on marrying this perfect man. This beautiful story of availability, integrity and courage has been turned into a fantasy of being swept of your feet by the perfect man. Boaz has become the prince charming of the bible, we are taught to cry out ‘where is my Boaz?’ the way the world cries out for prince charming or a knight in shining armour.
Many people do not seem to understand what was going on in the story of Ruth and Boaz. If Ruth had not followed Naomi’s instructions, I do not believe Boaz would have gone to the kinsman-redeemer that was closest, to talk about redeeming Ruth. My reason for believing this is in Ruth chapter 3 verse 10. Although Boaz had taken a liking to Ruth he naturally assumed that she would probably make herself available to a younger man. He was a man of honour therefore he would no have tried to force, lie or charm his way in, he would have accepted his lot and moved on (Ruth chp 3 verse 13).
Before crying out for Boaz, ask this: am I a Ruth? Can I boldly obey? Can I put my pride and fear of what others may say to the side? Am I working on something other than finding a husband? Am I willing to sacrifice my comforts and what I am used to, forsaking all other gods, to follow the great and mighty God of the universe? Ruth was doing these and perhaps more.
The ultimate ideal of a husband is not Boaz, it is in fact Jesus Christ (we are all His bride after all?). Boaz represented the redeeming power of Jesus Christ and how ready He is to save us as we make ourselves available. Christ will never force His way in or dishonour the systems in place. Once we are ready, He will take us from the closest kinsman-redeemer (sin and death whilst we are ‘unmarried’ to Him) and we will become one with Him.
So what am I trying to say? Ruth and Boaz are not just an airy fairy love story in the bible, there is so much to be learnt about God’s provision and hand in even the smallest details of our lives. Yes Boaz was probably a great husband but he was not one of a kind, there were many in the days of old and there are many now. The devil is lying to us that there are no more good men, they all seem to have gone extinct. When my God is still on the throne? Impossible! I have the utmost faith that there are a remnant of wonderful, honourable men that are constantly being molded daily, some are more well formed than others but God never stops working. So instead of ‘Lord where is my Boaz’ lets pray ‘Lord help me to patiently wait for the man that will clearly and wonderfully represent you in my life.’ It’s more of a mouthful but atleast it focuses our hopes and expectations on God rather than the ideal of Mr Perfect.